We’ve all heard that the only person we ever have control over is OURSELVES. We also know that the only moment we have any control over is NOW. So why is it so hard to let go of controlling others and worrying about the future?
Because it takes practice. Just like our muscles need training to do an advanced yoga pose or trail run up and down hills for five miles, our minds need practices to keep from straying into fearful thoughts that can keep us stuck or frozen in a reality that our heart knows is not good for us.
The ONLY way to create a new reality we can be proud of is to make the thoughts about what we WANT more important, energy and time-consuming than thoughts about what we DON’T want.
Sometimes we get so stuck in the worry about what will happen if we take action, that we don’t take any action at all.
But don’t you deserve to be happy? To be loved? To be abundant?
If your answer is no, then keep focusing on what could go wrong. IF your answer is yes, then I invite you to commit to focusing on what you DO what for at least 10 minutes each day, and even more when anxiety and fear have you trapped in their spells.
My favorite tool for this is called “Brainstorming” (can be found on page 38 of the book “Satori Living” by Satori Founder Carol Gutzeit). It’s from the Satori Lifestyle Coaching program I went through as a client during my divorce (which completely saved, then changed, my life), then went on to become certified in as a Coach. I did this practice during the MOST difficult times with amazing results...instead of focusing and worrying about what could go wrong (fear) in suddenly being a single mom of three at 40, I began to re-create my life from an authentic and heart based place (love).
- Choose one goal to begin the process (ie relationship, career, lifestyle, health).
- Write what you want in the center of a sheet of paper (ie “I am in a healthy and loving relationship) and surround it with words that come to mind. This may include people, places, things to do, feelings, etc. Do this exercise freely, like you are a kid in a candy store without your parents watching and you can have anything you want!
- Now use the words from your brainstorming session to wrote a description of what this looks like in your life. Organize your thoughts into a mental picture of what you want with as many details as possible.
Read this description every day and take time in a quiet place to sit with the feelings that you get when you imagine your new life. As you breathe in, fill up your lungs, your body, your heart with the feelings of abundance, peace, success, joy etc. As you breathe out, send that feeling out into every cell of your body.
This is a life changing practice as it will direct you to take action towards what you want, rather than stay stuck in the muck of what you don’t want.
For more tools like these, please join our closed Facebook Group “No Mud, No Lotus~Tools for Tough Transitions”. And as always, please share these blogs with anyone you know struggling through divorce and other midlife messes <3.