No Mud, No Lotus - Thich Nhat Hanh
No Mud, No Lotus - Thich Nhat Hanh


How to get Past the Guilt and Fear of Moving Forward

I just got off of a call with a client who is in the midst of filing for divorce and trying to move out of her family home that she shares with her husband and young daughter. She has been stuck in the same situation for almost two years, living in the upstairs attic space, knowing that she needed to take steps forward, but afraid to file and relocate to begin her new life in fear of upsetting her daughter and her soon-to-be-ex.

This is a common theme I see with clients in transitions like divorce and I have found that a very effective tool for moving out of the stuck and in-between places is the “Emotional Energy Practice” from Satori Coaching.

Emotion is Energy +’s energy that simply needs to move. Fear feels painful and constricting, (think anxiety, guilt, depression), while Love feels expansive (think gratitude, bliss, joy and connection).

This stuck place and the feelings that are being elicited are an indication that you are being given an opportunity to heal and grow.

Our emotions are simply indicators as to when we are on the track of love or on the track of fear. So many times, we take these indicators to create self-doubt and stay stuck, when really, the negative emotions are simply letting us know that there are old core beliefs running the show.

When we are operating from a core belief, one that is usually unconscious and formed in childhood, like “my needs don’t matter” or “I am responsible for other’s happiness” or “I am bad/evil”, then these beliefs will keep us stuck, many times in an unhealthy situation.

Operating from our core beliefs is like giving the wheel of the car to a 4-year old and letting them drive. Would you let your 4-year old drive your car? If the answer is no, then read on...

Since emotions are simply energy that needs to move, we can bring these core beliefs to light so that we can feel them, acknowledge them, and then change them to a belief in alignment with Love. Some examples would be “I am worthy of happiness”, “I deserve to be deeply loved” and “The Universe is unfolding to support me”, then we can take the steps we need to move forward through our transitions.

The EEP is a more in-depth personal dive into this process and is part of the coaching programs that I offer 1-on-1 and soon, in online group coaching sessions, but the basic steps as easy to follow through and can help right away if you feel stuck:

  1. What are my core negative beliefs about myself that are coming up right now in this situation?
  2. Am I willing to surrender these beliefs (Y/N)?
  3. What are my positive beliefs about myself that I am willing to now accept?
  4. What is one step I can take to strengthen these beliefs?

When you take lovingly back the wheel from your hurt inner child, your loving, wise, intuitive and authentic self will be in the driver’s seat, and you will have a much smoother ride into the next phase of your life.


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