Oh Sweet One,
I am watching you right now with the most tender eyes and hearing your cries with the most tender ears. I see you suffer each day trying to be someone you’re not, to live up to everyone else’s expectations of a good mom and a good wife but I want you to know how very good enough you truly are.
You fight against yourself every day. You judge yourself for not being like “them”, for not being happy in this life you “should” love. You smile brightly on the outside, but I know the hurt that you carry on the inside. The pain of never feeling good enough, loveable enough or brave enough to leave a life that doesn't suit you any longer.
Because of the darkness that you hold inside and believe is insurmountable, you think that you cannot make it on your own. That you deserve to suffer in a life that keeps you just okay, one that looks respectable and acceptable to others, a life that “they” can understand.
But I know what is in your heart.
You long for freedom. But it’s not the freedom that one would imagine. Yes, it would be fun to run off to magical lands with mysterious lovers and be resolved of all of your earthly responsibility, but that too would get old because until you are free inside, you will never be free.
As you enter into this dark time of no longer and not yet, you will come face to face with your deepest fears. You fear that your anger and deep sadness define you and that you will never be free of the pain unless you change your situation. But until you become free of your untrue beliefs about yourself, your situations will never change.
You will keep repeating the lesson until you have learned it (and the lessons will get harder and harder).
If you want to be truly free, sweet one, you must let all of your darkness come to the light. You must become the loving presence of light to yourself first, and then you must find a way to light the way for others to do the same.
I want you to know that this was all planned and you are exactly where you need to be right now for your greatest good and for all of those who witness your divine transformation. My invitation, dear one, is to stop struggling so hard to get out of this darkness, and start to let me in to work the miracles that are here for you in this time.
Relax, breathe and trust the process. You are letting go of your old form and becoming something more beautiful that you can even imagine.
This is a time for great self-awareness and self-love. Write, breathe, walk, sing, dance, laugh, cry and let go of all that you have thought you needed to be to be more worthy of love than you are right now, in your divinely perfectly imperfectness. Let that unique light inside of you grow bigger every day. Imagine your most succulent and fulfilling life and let go of all of the parts of you that tell you it is not possible.
Become the hero that you are waiting for.
Take a small step each day that affirms that you are divine, perfect and whole exactly as you are right now. As you believe and trust, you will open up spaces once filled by fear for me, your loving guide, to enter and help you become the butterfly you always knew you were.
I love you and I am rooting for you,